sunday Again

you share and share 

and share
bits and pieces of
your Mind
your Heart
your Body
your Soul
your Self

they take and take
and take
a handful and a pinch of
Whatever you have to Offer
Whatever else they can Find
Whatever they think they Need
Whatever they think they're Entitled to
Whatever they think they Want

you wish and hope
and pray
for a bit and a half of
their Ideas
their Thoughts
their Feelings
their Stirrings
their Truths

they hide and leave
and apologize
for the entirety and some of
their Rash Judgement
their Unintentional Mistakes
their Impulsiveness
their Stupidity
their Lies

.

and they're supposed to be the genuine ones

.

Strip, September.

I know I haven't blogged for a while. This is mainly because August was HELL. I've never had an August worse than the last one. But, being the optimist that I am, I have decided to let that all go, look at everything as a challenge and move on. Don't give me too much credit, though. I don't think I'm doing this because I have matured or something. I just keep on thinking that, if I don't hold my head up high and just walk away, I'd still smell the same poop every single day and that would be just sad. Don't you agree?

Anyway, September is here and some friends of mine have dubbed the month as "Happy September." Only, September, for me, isn't a happy, happy month. It's not hell month, not like August, though. I'd like to think that it's the month of changes. A lot of things are happening and they are happening fast. It's just mid-month and I feel as if I have enough memories to last me the rest of 2012. I honestly find it hard to catch up and it's tiring, in a way, to be always chasing after dreams, whatsits and whatnots.

It's funny how one event can change the way you perceive your life, how a singular moment can create so much chaos that you're shocked, stumped and perhaps even everything else in between.You realize that your so-called principles and ideas are not as grand as you think (perhaps hormonal, even). You realize that the people you thought were like this turned out to be like that. You realize that you overlooked things that were right under your nose -- and you did it on purpose, because it was easier to ignore them, really. And, yes, you realize all these at the same time, and you don't have the time to say "Wait!" or grab a lifebuoy or even breathe for that matter. You end up trying to swim for your life. Otherwise, you'll drown and die out of pressure or you'll float around and simply lose yourself in the process.

In so many ways, September is like that new sexy star featured in your latest copy of FHM: shocking, too revealing, eager to leave a mark in your memory and your consciousness for a long, long time.

Thus, to September, I say one thing: strip. Let it all out. Bare it all. Show me what I want to see...no, show me what I need to see. And, maybe -- just maybe -- when I have nothing in my hands but the naked truth, I'd know how to act and how to do it right come October, November and December.

Strip, September. Teach me how to dance again.

Painting Haikus

Disclaimer: This is purely fiction. Yes, even "him.". I think. :P

Where will all these lead?

Feelings of uncertainty

Comes in waves, crashing.

Tears and fears arise,

Unraveling the disguise

Of strength, composure.

Roads fork and streets wind.

Choices unmade made plenty.

Problems multiply.

The body is tired.

Overused, defeated.

The soul is broken.

Then, unheralded,

Amidst chaos, he arrives:

Hope is found in him.

It's in the banter

About taboos permitted:

Joy is found in him.

It's in all small things

Like curious hymns, guitar strings:

Peace is found in him.

It's in chances, like

Plucking planets from the sky:

Is love found in him?

(And falling real hard?

Maybe dotting i's with stars?

Painting sad days blue?)

Qualms are resolved when

Painting haikus about him

Makes it all better.

And thoughts become things.

Feelings are such mysteries.

Where will all these lead?

(c) 2012