People do crazy things when they're in love - Meg, "Hercules" (1997)
People do crazy things when they're drunk. - Me, and everyone else
Once you wake up, get over the initial shock that you're alone. The party's over. Did you really expect them to watch you sleep? They have their own lives to live, their own homes to go home to, their own problems to solve. Selfish bitch.
Grab a glass of water and drink. Never mind that it still tastes a bit like your vomit. Never mind that you don't feel like drinking anything for, perhaps, the next couple of hours (or days). Drink until the last drop. Drink it the way you drank all those tequila shots last night.
Don't try to remember what happened, how it happened and who it happened with. And -- God forbid -- don't even think of trying to remember why it happened. So you danced on a table/laughed out loud/confessed your feelings/held his or her hand/kissed him or her/had sex with him or her/called him or her or them names/cried/vomited/drunk dialed someone/[insert other embarrassing things people typically do when they're drunk]. You were drunk. There's no other explanation. Don't try to rationalize; that'll make things even more embarrassing. You already have a headache so stop trying to make it worse.
Ignore. Ignore that tingling feeling all over your body. Ignore the faint taste of the alcohol on your lips. What's the use of reliving moments long gone? They were fun once, yes, but do you really want to continuously live in the past? You already feel disoriented, confused. Don't make it worse.
Stop asking where time went. Time passes, and quickly. You might not remember anything right now but good things happened, too. If you just really try to see beyond the fact that you were drunk, you'd know. Don't try to recall all the details from the past. You're already in pain. Don't. Make. It. Worse.
Don't blame yourself. It's perfectly normal to get drunk. Some people just handle alcohol better than others. And even those people fail once in a while. Stop muttering "never again" to yourself. You've said that a dozen times before. You can't help it; give it time and you'd probably be begging for more. Perhaps another poison though: a vodka-sprite or a rum coke, a margarita or a long island iced tea. Or you can always have a bottle of good ol' fashioned beer. Hey, why not? It's cheap and goes well with anything. You can use a friendly drink once in a while, you know. Something that your friends'd like as well.
Yes, maybe you just need to choose a better drink next time. Who knows, maybe you can avoid feeling this way if you choose the right stuff next time.
Sleep. Don't try to forget. Yes, I know I said don't try to remember. Just...let it be. Don't think...well, at least not for the next few hours. Be comfortable with the idea that shit happens. This ain't the first time. It definitely won't be the last.
Yes, sleep. Sleep until such the time that you can stand up, walk straight, and go to the bathroom to take a shower and not to throw up. Sleep until you feel less like a zombie and more of a real, live person. Sleep until you don't feel that throbbing pain anymore. Sleep until it doesn't hurt at all.
Fight the urge to smoke. You don't remember where you put your cigarettes, anyway.
